I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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