hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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