Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
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