I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize