i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
