you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
