In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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