Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
