I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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