You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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