hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
