Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
