their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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