whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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