you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize