Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
