he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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