I think i peed on brittanys purse
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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