3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
