I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize