I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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