we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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