I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
