i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
