The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
