Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
