3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's blow job season.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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