I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
