are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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