adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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