I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
