I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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