I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
