so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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