She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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