I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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