I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
