I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
