Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
