just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My life is pants optional.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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