You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i dont even know how to be here
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
