I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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