out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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