You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
