she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
