Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I have post one night stand depression
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
