It's a beautiful day for a hangover
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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