You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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