Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
