you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
