is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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