I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
