He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize