can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
