Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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