the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
