And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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