R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize