super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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