fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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