Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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